Last week, I was in Portland OR and had about 8 hours to kill. I went hiking in the Columbia River Gorge, where I met a very pretty young woman who works for the forest service. We walked the last mile of the trail together.

Here is one thing I have learned. By the time you are 50, while you may think you are attractive to young women, you simply look old. Thus, to make sure I don’t come across as a dirty old man in these situations, I always go out of my way to mention my wife — several times — and children. That way, I can enjoy the hike, converse with the young female forest ranger about the trails and the Gorge, and not worry if she’s going to hit with me with her hiking stick.

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I really like soccer. I played in college. But Major League Soccer (MLS) in this country is minor league, both in terms of level of play and, it seems, in marketing. I flipped on the MLS All-Star game last night. MLS has one bona fide star: Landon Donovan. What’s the first thing I hear from the TV announcers? That Landon Donovan is not on the starting side, that he will probably not appear until the second half. Really?

I came across this traffic warning in Maryland on Monday morning. The photo is a bit blurry (I was, understandably, in a hurry to get out of there) but for your own safety, especially if you are going to be Gaithersburg, MD any time soon, be sure to check it out.

My wife has been out of the country for three weeks. Here’s one thing I have learned. A father should not fold his 16-year-old daughter’s laundry. It’s scary.
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My 16-year-old son played in a lacrosse recruiting tournament earlier this week. A major film company was there filming. They are doing a documentary on college lacrosse and the recruiting process. They put a mike on my son for the day. He was told, “Try not to cuss.”

At one point in the day, he says, “S–t.”

Realizing that he messed up and cussed while being taped by a film crew, his immediate reaction was to…of course…say, “Oh, s–t!”