Me and my 15-year-old daughter driving, one of her friends in the back seat:

Me: That woman who just walked past, I was thinking, “That’s a good-looking woman, until I saw she was holding a cigarette.”

Daughter: Dad! Are you kidding me? You shouldn’t be looking at other women. You’re married.

Me: So.

Daughter: So? You’re married.

Me: You think Mom cares if I look at another woman? She doesn’t care.

Daughter: That’s disgusting. You’re not supposed to be thinking about anybody but mom. Maybe religion. Think about religion when you’re not thinking about Mom.

Me: Okay, next time I’ll think: God, that’s a good-looking woman.

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