ESPN put a microphone inside my brain this past weekend. This breakthrough sports journalism provides the first-ever opportunity to hear what a parent is really thinking at a youth sports event:

Stimulus enters my eyes: My son, the goalie, is running around with the ball, evading other team’s attackmen while he looks for a teammate to pass to. Stimulus enters my ears: Mother of other goalie on team yelling, “Get rid of the ball. Don’t run around like that. Not against this team.” Unfiltered thought in my brain: Shut up woman. Your son may be pudgy and slow but my son can run.

Stimulus enters my ears: Father of a member of my son’s team yelling (constantly), “Okay defense, time to tighten up. Toughen up defense!” Unfiltered thought in my brain: Good thing you’re yelling at the boys because it never would have occurred to defensemen to try to play tough defense.

Stimulus enters my ears: Fathers from a different team yelling at their sons or sons’ teammates every time they make a mistake on the field. Unfiltered thought in my brain: I’m sure your boys just love having you stand on the sidelines.

Stimulus enters my eyes: (you’ll figure it out). Unfiltered thought in my brain: Lacrosse is much better than ice hockey. Mothers wear less clothing.

ESPN is now talking about basing a reality show inside my head. It will be called Pardon the Blogenberg.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 15th, 2008 at 9:26 am and is filed under Family, Humor. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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