Every morning I stop at a Starbucks near my house for green tea and a bran muffin. (Did you notice how I used Starbucks, green tea, and bran muffin in the same sentence? My fake cool quotient just rose dramatically!)
Every morning the same woman tends the cash register. She’s too nice to customers. She talks to them. She pretends to care about them. She needs to stop it, immediately, because she’s taken good customer service, put it on steroids, and created irritating, bad customer service. Because in line, behind the people she’s chatting up, is me, damn’t. I’m very anxious to get to work. And all her chatting adds probably three minutes to my wait. Call it crazy, but those three minutes mean something to me. Frankly, more than her inane chit chat means to the people she is chit chatting.
This morning, somebody asked her where the milk is. She answered, “Up front, by the door, to the left.” How about just responding, “Up front”? It’s a small store. They’ll find the milk, damn’t. And I’ll get my damn Starbucks green tea and bran muffin quicker, damn’t!
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Two very important questions deeply troubling Blogenberg today: One, is April Fool’s day dying, if not already dead? Today is April Fool’s day. Good bet you didn’t think about it until just this moment. I’m old enough to remember when April Fool’s day meant something — something foolish, of course. Maybe we just take ourselves too seriously — like demanding our Starbucks green tea and bran muffin three minutes quicker?
Second, I was in a hospital the other day. One wing of this hospital is named the Progressive Care Unit. What’s that make the other units in this hospital? Perhaps the Obsolete Care Because Our Doctors Haven’t Read a Medical Journal in Two Years Unit. Or maybe the We Weren’t Able to Dump this Equipment on the Underfunded Public Hospital in the Inner City Unit.
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