May 15th, 2007

Stuck it to the Man, the Cha Cha Slide, and What Value?

by Jeff Rosenberg

I stuck it to the “man� this morning. That’s right, I did. I was driving to a breakfast meeting, heading south on Connecticut Avenue. At a red light, all the cars stopped short, making sure to allow space for a “private entrance� to the right. It was the entrance to one of the most expensive and exclusive country clubs in Washington.

“Are you kidding me?� I yelled quietly inside my head. So I pulled up and audaciously stuck my spear in the ground. I blocked the entrance, and kept it blocked until my light turned green.

The “man� had to be stinging at 7:35 this morning.

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God has blessed me with the opportunity to do some special things for my children. One happened this weekend. One was yesterday.

This weekend we hosted my twins’ 13-year-old birthday bash at the community center. It featured a DJ. It was one of the first “teen� parties of this group. Watching 45 13-year-olds do the Cha Cha Slide is one of my happiest moments as a father. And, continuing with my rare ethnographic glimpses into the lives of 13-year-old girls, I can report that the screech I Blogenberged about two weeks ago has even more utility than my original observations suggested. It is also used to signal to other 13-year-old girls when an exciting song starts. And, it appears to be every song.

Yesterday I took my oldest boy to the large Midwestern city where he goes to college. We rented his first apartment. Without prodding he looked at me and said he would get a job to help out. That was one of my happiest moments as a father.

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Two things are bothering me about infomercials. First, who are these guys that introduce themselves like they are somebody I should know? “Hi, I’m Anthony Somebody-you-should-know and I’m here to tell you about the magic carpet that cleans dog hair.�

Second, who is the Czar of all value? I saw some other guy who-acts-like-I-should-know-him hawking brushes I could get at Home Depot for I’m sure, a few bucks that he says clean lint from inside drycleaners “like magic.� The price was like $10, but he assured me they were a “$25 value.� Who says they are a $25 value? What putz is going to pay $25 for two brushes? What putz is going to pay $10?

By the way, for reading Blogenberg all the way through, you get a lifetime subscription to Blogenberg. I’m Jeff Rosenberg, and that’s a million dollar value.

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